György Spiró has discovered the EU Commission for European Standards guidelines for writing a novel. It contains gems such as Art. 13 D):

"Positive Main Characters recommended exceptionally strongly:

a) A grandmother who underwent many terrible tribulations before the advent of the EU with her spiritual and moral integrity remaining intact, and who now educates her grandchildren single-handedly in such a manner that they become upright, law-abiding citizens of the European Union who meet the challenges of business life."

or

Art. 5 & 6:

5) The Novel must contain Dialogue and Author's Text. A work lacking either of these will not qualify as a Novel and will not be supported.

6) The ideal ratio between Dialogue and Author's Text is 2 : 1. A maximum divergence of + or 12 per cent is tolerable. Any divergence of a larger order will result in the disqualification of the work from European Union support.

http://www.eurozine.com/articles/2005-10-03-spiro-en.html